Railway Jokes

The First one made me chuckle as I am sure at Interviews they would put obstacles in the way to test your knowledge....

Jim wanted a job as a signalman on the railways.
At the job interview the inspector asked him this question: "What would you do if you saw 2 trains heading for each other on the SAME track?
Jim said: "I would put all signals to danger"
"What if they were going too fast?", asked the inspector.
Jim said," I would switch the points for one of the trains."
"What if the lever broke?", asked the inspector.
"Then I'd dash down the signal box steps waving a red flag", said Jim.
"What if it blew away in the wind?" asked the inspector.
"Then I'd run back into the signal box & phone the next signal box."
"What if the phone was engaged?"
"Well.....in that case," persevered Jim, "I'd rush down out of the box & use the public emergency phone at the level crossing."
"What would you do if THAT was vandalized?"
"Oh well, then I'd run into the village & get my Uncle Harry."
This puzzled the Inspector, "Why would you do that?"
"Because he's never seen a train crash!!"

Elvis Presley was fond of trains, which is why he sang "Love Me Tender"   (sorry!) lol

Q. Why are ghosts no good at running a railway?
A. Because they can't even put on a skeleton service!

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Very amusing, nice ones Andy